When your kids look at you, do you think they are excited to grow up and be an adult one day? Are you making adult life look amazing? Do you make time to follow passions, hang out with friends, and visit cool places even *gasp* without your kids? Is modeling lifelong learning on your radar?
I know, it is difficult.
Even when you do find time, there is a mountain of laundry and three years of sleep to catch up on…and don’t even get me started on homeschool planning and dinner. But, what is the point of homeschooling for you? Is it to be a martyr so your kids can have a better life or is it to have a better life with your kids? If it seems like everything in your life is so hard, will your kids ever want to homeschool their kids or be excited about adulthood?
Probably not.
I know it is so VERY hard, but really think about this:
Are you living in the way you would want your kids to live when they grow up?
After speaking with homeschool parents for years, I would guess that many of us are not. I was not (and sometimes slip back into old habits). I wouldn’t have wished my mood and unfulfilled-yet-overwhelmed feeling on anyone! One day, when I just ignored all the homeschooling must-dos because I was over it all, everything clicked. I turned on a YouTube tutorial about watercolors and I learned; right in the middle of the day, in the middle of the living room, in the middle of my kids’ lives. I didn’t set it up for them, they didn’t join me, but they noticed. Painting became what I worked on during our quiet time or while listening to audiobooks.
This single shift from being mom/teacher to simply being a lifelong learner changed their level of curiosity and cooperation when it came to watercolors.
I had previously tried to force watercolors on my kids. Surprise: they made a mess and were done in three minutes. Why didn’t they want to learn this fun thing??? Once they saw me working at it for myself, they became naturally interested and we now have the “nature journaling” part of our homeschool like I imagined and wanted. We learned about the moon, so I added a moon painting in my notebook. Do you know what happened? We were learning about geology the next week (a child lead interest) and my older son pulled his watercolor notebook out and painted a volcano on his own. He pulled it out another day during reading time and painted while I read. I made it look enjoyable and fun because I WAS ENJOYING IT, so he wanted to try. Modeling lifelong learning works wonders!
It helps when I ask myself why I’m trying to teach a subject or skill. I often try to teach my kids about things that I personally have an interest in learning and these lessons typically fail because they are young and don’t want me to do school TO them. Then I feel frustrated. Whether I actively show my frustration or my disappointment seeps out somewhere else, it poisons the day or week.
WHY do these lessons fails?
Unrealistic Expectations.
Think about it: when your child tries to school you on Minecraft, do you sit there excitedly, ready to pull it up on the computer and try????? No, probably not. You have no interest in it and don’t know why he’s dumping this information about creepers and TNT on you. That’s how they feel about most subjects that are suddenly sprung upon them as you excitedly tell them how cool it is.
So, What can you do?
- Learn what you want to learn about right in front of them.
- Read during the day when they can witness it
- Take a class
- Set up or join monthly meet-ups for a hobby/interest
- Go on trips without them and show photos
- Turn on a documentary you wanted to watch
- Listen to a podcast about a subject that interests you where they can hear it (if its appropriate)
- Teach a class about a subject you love
- Perform (music, dance, theatre) at a local venue
- Work enthusiastically on a business venture
- Talk about exciting or challenging aspects of your job if you work
Once I figured out this secret, I made sure to implement Awesome Adulting (as Julie Bogart would put it) as much as possible. Pulling out an embroidery project inspired one child to sew a pillowcase for his brother. Enrolling in an adult ballet class and performing on stage helped one kid decide to finally try a piano contest. Cleaning my kitchen prompted them to…just kidding…cleaning prompted them to do absolutely nothing.
The point is:
Let them see you engage in something that does not revolve around them and their wants/needs.
This could be anything: political campaigns/marches, painting, taking a class at a community center, attending or hosting a book club for adults, exercising, or just a monthly moms brunch. Anything that you do for yourself to bring yourself joy is worth the time investment and worth skipping the chores for. Your kids seeing you grow as a human and enjoying your life will do far more for them than growing up with a floor that was swept on Thursday nights.
I recently attended a class on beekeeping; it was just a one night class offered at the library. I told the boys that I went to a bee class and guess what they wanted to learn about? Bees. Somehow, modelling curiosity and growth piques their interest more than forcing them to learn from books. Had I spent time crafting a perfect Unit Study and said “Surprise! We are learning about bees!” they would have protested. Go figure!
Let them see you be awesome and see a Lifelong Learner in action.
Take an hour to sit and read a book you want to read. Not after they go to bed when they can’t see you…right in the middle of the day. Let them see you enjoy your day. It is ok, really! Now, I know what you are thinking, “sure, as soon as I sit down there will be a fight or they will be crawling all over me.” That may happen, for sure, so mentally prepare to not be aggravated. Explain you are reading about something you want to learn and that they can play in their rooms, sit with you quietly with their own books to look at or read, set them up with something else to do, give them snacks, turn on a movie….whatever you have to do to have some time to enjoy a few minutes to yourself. If you can’t sit down to read because of the eleventy-million tasks you need to do, listen to an audiobook! If it isn’t playing for all to hear, you can always mention something interesting you learned.
Live and learn alongside your kids. If you want to raise lifelong learners, you need to show them how great it is to BE be a lifelong learner! What projects will you be working on?
